Friendships

Monday, March 24th, 2008 | Random Thoughts

I’ve had a lot of neat friendships in my life. I had good friends throughout elementary school and a special group of 5 girlfriends in high school. When I got to college, however, God blessed me with a small group of women who taught me what it truly means to be “friends.”

Jen, Sandra, and I hung out constantly. We met together once a week to have veggie burgers at Take 5. Jen and I ran our first marathon together. Sandra and I were roommates in Bowles. We studied together, prayed together, we even spent the night in each other’s rooms. We found that simply being in one another’s presence was refreshing. We didn’t have to talk or have deep conversations (although, we certainly had many of those), we simply enjoyed one another’s company. We sent each other encouraging notes through the inter-campus mail, met together on Friday afternoons for “hot tea” parties. Those were some precious times. They are amazing women.

I don’t know if it was the community life of college or the time and place in life that we were in together, but I’ve had a hard time finding friendship like that since. For a while, Taryn and I had a special bond (while they were living in West LA, and Steve was attending USC). But it sure didn’t last long enough.

Living in LA certainly has it perks. Nate and I feel like we’re living a dream…we live so close to the city and the beach…who could ask for anything better! Yet, one of the downfalls to city life is the lack of lasting relationships. This is such a transient area. People come and go frequently. Lots of people come to the city to go to school or start a career, but when they reach the point in life we’re reaching (that is, having a family), they’re ready to move on. It’s nearly impossible to raise a family on one income and live in anything bigger than a one bedroom apartment in our neighborhood. Especially if you have the type of career that serves the community (on staff at a church, school, or social service center). Therefore, most of our friends have moved away. Dan and Sandra are in Germany, Jen and her soon-to-be-husband are in Philadelphia, Steve and Taryn go to school in Loma Linda, Tim and Kelley work for CSM in Chicago. We’ve known so many amazing couples and have been blessed with their friendships.

I guess I just have a longing in my heart for a good girlfriend again. Someone who is close-by and in a similar life situation. Someone who is also on a journey with God, longing to live the life He’s called her to. Someone who I can call up and bring with me when I need to take a quick trip to Trader Joe’s. Someone who I can cook dinner for, or who can cook dinner for me when we’ve had a long, awful day. Someone who understands some of my same struggles. Someone who I can encourage and who can encourage me.

My heart is lonely. I have known good friends, and am a better woman for the experiences. I pray that in the months to come God will bring a special friend across my path, and that we can experience a new and growing relationship as we revel in God’s blessings in the city of Los Angeles.

1 Comment to Friendships

Lisa
March 25, 2008

I totally know what you mean! I have really been struggling with this, basically since we moved to Corvallis. It seems like it gets even harder once you have kids. (not to be discouraging) A lot of my time and energy revolves around my kids. It’s a lot harder to be spontaneous in friendship when you have to think about naps and diapers and having meals more or less on time. Then, once they move out of the nap phase, you have school and after school activities to think about. You mentioned it being difficult in LA because people are transient. I find it hard here because a lot of people grew up here and already have strong, established friendships. I think it’s harder for them to make time for new friendships amongst all the time restraints I already mentioned. I have been blessed with one very good friend here, but I’m still struggling with adjusting my expectations of what that friendship looks like (not much girl time without kids). Just when I really feel discouraged and alone it seems God will send me a little message through one of my friends, even long distance ones, to let me know I’m not alone and I am loved. It maybe doesn’t come exactly as I would have envisioned, but I am encouraged to keep going. Sorry for the super long comment, maybe I should write about this on my own blog! I’ll be praying God brings a special friend into your life in the near future!

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